Yesterday, the Guidance Counselor at my son’s school made me cry.
Not ‘can’t catch your breath sobbing’ kind of cry, but oh yeah, there were a few tears.
Just after 10am, I received a phone call at work.
It seems someone gave my son a water bottle, filled with a substance they said was Chocolate Milk.
It was his friends who gave it to him. And it wasn’t chocolate milk. It was a Vodka Mudshake.
The phone call was from the Guidance Counselor, informing me that my 13yr old kid had his first taste of alcohol … at school.
That’s not what made me cry.
Some time yesterday morning, three girls came up to my son at his locker, gave him one of the school water bottles, and told him 'Here! Have some! It’s chocolate milk.'
He looked from one to the other of the girls, and they were all nodding encouragement, ‘Go ahead, it’s just chocolate milk.’
Let me point out that these three girls are his friends. Not bullies, not someone who cornered him and said ‘drink this or else!’ …. His FRIENDS.
He took the first gulp, and had the second in his mouth when he realized what he was drinking was most definitely NOT chocolate milk!
That’s when the girls revealed what was truly in the bottle.
Alec went to his next class extremely upset. Not only was he bothered that he'd been tricked, he knew what they had done was wrong.
He knows the rules on alcohol and drugs. Very simple. DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THEM! Period.
And you know what? He’s a good kid. Alcohol, smoking and drugs aren’t his thing.
For today, I can say he’s on the right path. I’d like him to stay there.
Now, we were all teenagers once. I’m not naive enough to think he’s not going to have his first drink before he’s 19 (legal age in Canada).
I know in the years to come, there will be parties, and there will most likely be alcohol at some of these parties.
But we’re not there yet.
And we’re not talking a party … we’re talking 9am, on a Tuesday morning, AT SCHOOL!!!
The whole incident really upset Alec.
So much so, he and one of his his best friends asked their teacher for a private conference in the hallway.
At the risk of getting himself in trouble with his friends, he informed the teacher of what had happened.
Then, he was sent down to the Guidance Counselor to repeat the tale.
Let me be clear that if anyone else was involved, they weren't mentioned. Alec described only his own experience.
And, not only was he worried about being in trouble with his friends AND the school, he was also concerned *I* was going to be mad at him for what happened.
Shortly after he explained the situation to the counselor, I received the phone call.
The counselor gave me the details of the incident and told me in no uncertain terms that my son had ABSOLUTELY done the right thing by saying something, and he was most definitely NOT in trouble.
He then proceeded to go on … and on, about what a ‘good kid’ my boy is. How in this particular situation, he had made the right choice.
And how much of a support he was to one of his best Buds last year, when he lost his mom.
THAT’S what brought the tears.
I know I have a good kid. I like to think others see it in him as well.
But, having a school official make it crystal clear (again), how well respected and liked my son is by the faculty … on top of the disturbing news I’d just been given, yeah, THAT made the ‘ol eyes a bit misty.
I was asked to come down to the school to pick Alec up.
He wasn’t feeling well and was still upset by the morning’s events. For a variety of reasons.
I can’t tell you the range of emotions I experienced on the 25 min drive from work to his school.
First and foremost, I was PISSED!!!!
Pissed that his friends had given him alcohol. And LIED to him about it!
Pissed that a small portion of his innocence was taken away without his consent.
Pissed that because of THEIR actions, he felt he had to choose between his friends, and what was 'right', and risk their wrath.
I was also Relieved! Relieved that it was ONLY a Mudshake, and that there hadn’t been anything else more toxic ‘slipped’ in there.
And PROUD. So damn proud of my boy.
Proud that he didn't say 'WOOHOO! THANKS!' and chug what was left in the bottle.
Proud that he would risk the friendship of these girls, and to a certain degree, the rest of his inner circle, to do what was right.
I'm sure they meant him no harm. That the whole thing was most likely a cool stunt, just a ‘big joke’ as far as they were concerned.
But Alec wasn’t laughing.
Neither am I.
And neither, I suspect, are the girls anymore, after receiving a reprimand from the school.
I know one of the girls, in particular, reads this blog.
And Missy*, for the record, I really hope you know how disappointed I am in you.
I certainly expected MORE from one of my kid’s FRIENDS.
I like my son's friends. There is a large group, and I have known most of them for years. Good kids.
Who sometimes make bad choices.
I know I can’t protect and shelter my kid from every bad choice or influence he’s going to come across. Especially now that he’s a teenager.
He's going to make many bad choices of his own over the next few years.
He has to live his own life, learn his own lessons.
Yesterday’s lesson was ‘Never take anything … ANYTHING from anyone, if you aren’t 100% sure you know what it is’.
I have to let him discover that things … and people aren’t always what they seem.
And now, we move on.
Simply treat yesterday as the learning experience it was, and start a new day with a new outlook.
So, as I headed out this morning, I gave him a quick hug, kiss on the cheek, told him to have a good day at school, then tossed over my shoulder on the way out the door ...
“ … and lay off the Booze today would ya!” ;-)
That brought about a shocked ‘MOM!!!!!' and more importantly … a smile.
Mission accomplished ;-)
P.S * No, Missy is not her real name.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Yesterday, the Guidance Counselor at my son’s school made me cry.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Last year, I took the boys to a neighbouring province to see the WWE wrestlers, for Wrestlemania Revenge.
It was a GREAT three hour show.
Last weekend at this time, the WWE boys were here in Halifax.
Oh yeah. We went to the show!
Not everyone who was rumoured to be there was there, so that was a bit disappointing. And the fact Batista wasn't there ... THAT was disappointing.
And it was only a two hour show.
But, there were a few 'headliner' matches, and we had AWESOME seats, so we were happy.
Unfortunately, we missed most of the first match, while trying to get into the parkade across the street, then trying to find our seats.
Since we missed most of that one ... no pics of Evan Bourne :-(
Kofi Kingston. I like him too! LOTS of energy!
I'd like to apologize to these women, for the Dirtbags of my city.
I don't believe I heard any 'Take it OFF' when any of the GUYS were out there, Folks!
And they are Wrestlers, NOT Strippers!
... and his partner in the tag team match, Mark Henry. 'The World's Strongest Athlete'. Interestingly enough, this guy was actually an Olympic athlete before he got into the Wrestling Biz.
First, Randy came out.
But the Good Guys prevailed in the end ;-)
He gave Cena a letter before the show, asking if he could propose to his girlfriend at the end of the night. Cena said 'sure' and called them up.
This is right after she said 'YES!'.
Although, in my opinion, last year's show was better, it was a still a good night overall.
WWE Rocked Halifax!
Boys had a good time. They walked away with a couple of new Cena shirts, great memories, and big smiles :-)
Now, don't wait another five years before you come back, WWE Boys & Divas!
And next time, we want The ANIMAL!
And a 3hr show, please. There is EASILY three hours worth of talent on the roster. Halifax loved you! USE IT!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
As some of you know, I love candles.
We have pets. I occasionally burn breakfast/lunch/dinner ... I need candles.
I LOVE the good candles, I just can't always splurge on them.
And most times, I figure a candle's, a candle's, a candle.
Last spring, I was asked to review a new Febreze product line.
Including their candles.
In that review, one of the things I pointed out, was how after 30 hrs, the wax burned almost completely away.
I was impressed.
Last night, I was standing at the sink, cleaning up after dinner.
One boy was upstairs, one was down. I was alone in the kitchen. Hands in suds, staring absently out the window.
All of a sudden, there was this mini explosion to my right.
Something between a loud pop and a crash.
I looked at the stove and saw the candle holder that had been sitting on it
The cheap, Dollar Store candle holder that was now shattered.
A spray of wax covered the surface of the stove, with the exception of one spot that had pooled, and had the wick/flame still burning in the middle of it.
On my stove!
There's a teeny tiny fire on my stove!
Run for the camera ... or blow it out?
As you can see, I blew it out BEFORE I ran for the camera.
This my friends, is what a cheap candle holder looks like.
That's it! Time to move up to the $3.95 Wal-mart brand!
Oh, and I will happily accept (the $8), Febreze Brazilian Carnaval® candles for Christmas this year, Mom ;-)
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Last night, I saw a video link on someone's Facebook page, that immediately brought me back to my youth.
So Jane B, today's post is all your fault!!! ;-)
I enjoyed that 10 minute clip SO much, I spent this morning watching the full length video on YouTube.
What? My kids are with their father this weekend. If I want to waste my Sunday morning watching YouTube videos, so be it!
Back in 1983, a 22yr old man, a comedian, hit the stage in Washington, DC.
He made fun of celebrities, taboo topics, and every day people, especially his family.
He brought the audience to tears with laughter.
And man ... could he SWEAR!!!
That man's name was Eddie Murphy, and this particular comedy act was, DELIRIOUS.
I wasn't allowed to watch Delirious. I was 12 when it was released.
My family had gotten a VCR around my 12th birthday, but it would be YEARS later before Delirious or RAW ever made it into that machine.
My father wasn't the type of dad who 'approved' of that type of humour.
Oh, I'm sure he laughed his shit off when I WASN'T in the room. I mean, come on, it was Eddie Murphy! But there was no way he'd ever let on that it was 'acceptable' humour in front of his only daughter.
I can still very clearly remember one afternoon, when I was in Jr High, I had a couple of friends over.
We were crowded around my cassette player, in the basement.
The three of us, sitting on the floor, huddled around the 'boombox', which was turned on ONLY loud enough for us to hear.
Because somehow, I'd managed to get a cassette tape copy of Delirious, and we were trying to be quiet, and LAUGHING OUR ASSES OFF, while my dad was upstairs in the kitchen.
I still don't know if he ever knew exactly what we were listening to, and laughing at. Although, I'm sure on some level, he knew it was something we weren't supposed to be listening to.
For years later, the minute someone said "ICE CREAM! THE ICE CREAM MAN IS COMING", I'd lose it laughing. Or 'It's the Fart Game son, you'll play it some day!', would be enough to start the 13yr old boy in me giggling.
Because, YES, damnit! I HAD an older cousin who would ALWAYS sit on my head and let one rip!
He wasn't as funny as Eddie about it though!
My kids know Eddie Murphy from movies like Daddy Daycare, Dr Doolittle, and of course, as the voice of Donkey in Shrek.
They love Eddie Murphy.
But not for the same reasons that their mother does.
Not for the memories of being a 15yr old girl, sitting crossed legged on the floor in her basement with her friends, huddled over the 'forbidden tape', somewhat crushing on a foul mouthed, politically incorrect, grabbin' his dick every 2min, bad boy Comedian.
And lovin' every minute of it.
I'm seriously looking forward to the day I can share with my boys, the experience of Delirious, RAW (not as funny IMO), and the Beverly Hills Cop movies.
So they can see the 'young' Eddie.
When they're old enough to 'appreciate' him.
And how he made so many of us laugh, with his racy, politically incorrect comedy, and foul mouth.
Admit it! You LAUGHED at The Ice Cream Man!
I can't wait for the day I can bring home the Delirious DVD and say 'HERE! Let's watch THIS tonight!' (that's assuming they're still willing to watch movies with their 'ol Ma when they're 18 lol).
When they're old enough to enjoy the adulterated comic genius of ...
*** WARNING!!!! Extremely foul and crass language contained in the following clips! May be offensive to some ****
There. You've been warned.
Either skip to the end, or simply go away now if you don't like bad language.
ALEC! Leave NOW! I WILL hear you, and I WILL know exactly what you're laughing at!
The Ice Cream Man
Did anyone else have a shoe-throwing Mom like Eddie?
We all have Eddie Murphy to thank, for making The Fart Game a household catchphrase!
And of course, who could forget everyone's favourite family Cookout?
Now THAT'S a FIRE!
Thanks for the laughs 20yrs ago, and thanks for the laughs that were JUST AS FUNNY this morning!
Yup, over 20yrs later, and I'm STILL Delirious for Eddie!
Hmmm ... isn't he single again? Wonder if I can
P.S. I'm sorry if some of you (Mom) still find him offensive. He's definitely not for everyone. But I simply take it/him for what it is ... damn funny.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Claws McPurr is our male cat.
He hasn't been fixed yet.
He's overdue, and yes, will be going shortly for the snip snip.
After dinner, Adam was holding him. Cuddling with him.
He looked over at me and said "Hey Mom, he's got a big ball sack!"
To which I replied, "Yes ... yes he does."
Then he looks at Claws lovingly and says "You need to go for a Prostitute exam Buddy!"
I wasn't quite finished eating yet, and almost choked on a mouthful of spaghetti.
Me: "WHAT did you just say to him?"
Adam: "I told him he needs a prostitute exam."
My reaction told him what he said wasn't quite ... right.
He then looked at me and asked "What does that mean, Mom?"
When I felt it was safe to speak again, without laughing or choking, I explained.
"I think you mean PROSTATE exam, Hun. Not a PROSTITUTE exam." And gave him a basic explanation of the difference.
Hmmmm, I wonder what school you'd have to go to for Prostitution, and if you get extra credit for THOSE exams?!?!?!
If I can take away something good from this conversation, it's that my 9yr old doesn't (well, didn't) know what a prostitute is. WooHoo!
P.S. And yes, I did ask Adam if I could write this post :-)
Saturday, September 5, 2009
I reminded my oldest son recently, of how lucky he is to have a Mom like ME!
Not because I buy him 'stuff'.
Not because I let him get away with 'stuff'.
Personally, I think he's lucky I'm the type of Mom who stays out of his 'stuff'.
The other day, I happened to stick my hand into the front pocket of my sweatshirt.
There was something in there.
A folded up piece of paper.
I pulled it out to find one of the MANY 'notes' from his girlfriend.
It was in MY sweatshirt, because I find these notes left around the house, and pick them up so his younger brother doesn't find them, read them, and make his life hell because of them.
I've picked them up off the floor, off the table/counter, out of his pants pockets before I do a wash etc.
Now ... if Alec was the type of 13 yr old who frequently gave me 'trouble', and was overly secretive about his actions, non-communicative, you can bet your ass I'd be reading his notes.
For the simply fact of keeping 'on top of things'.
I'm the parent. It's my RIGHT and obligation to keep on top of things where my kids are concerned.
I remember passing notes. I remember the 'stuff' that goes into them.
Mostly, words and phrases you wouldn't want your parents to see.
However, because Alec is the type of kid he is, and has given me no reason NOT to trust him, I haven't read ANY of these notes.
Oh sure, I'm TEMPTED!!!!!
Would I love to see what types of things his girlfriend has to say to him when there aren't grownups around?
Would I love to take a peek at what a 13yr old's romance consists of these days?
Would I betray his (and her) trust like that?
NOT A CHANCE!
I like to think my kids have the open relationship they do with me, because I DON'T pry into the secrets that they DO keep.
The way I see it, as long as he's still a 'good' kid, and doesn't give me reason to distrust him, why should I violate his personal space, and 'stuff'.
Because I'm his mother?
He may be a kid, but he's still a person.
A person who has the right to feel that his private thoughts will be kept private.
Unless, of course, he undergoes a major personality change, and convinces me otherwise.
But I'm curious.
About other moms/parents out there.
If you came across one of your kids 'notes' from a friend/girlfriend ...
Would YOU read it?
Friday, September 4, 2009
Our first day back to school here was Wednesday.
Alec started grade 8.
Adam started grade 4.
Me? I'm just feeling OLD! ;-)
Turned out, it was an AWESOME day, all the way around.
I worked from home that day, and after I got the boys off to school, I checked my work email.
First message I read, was one asking me to confirm that I'd be at an interview the next day.
This was GREAT news!
No, I didn't get a new job. However, after five years of being a Business Analyst on my current project, I was interested in moving on to something else, within the same organization.
My new role as an Instructional Developer isn't quite ready for me yet. Work is coming down the pipeline, but not ready to actually start.
So, instead of 'sitting on the bench' as it's known in our field, I looked around for something to tide me over.
The email I received was asking me to interview in a new location, on a different part of the project as a Software Tester.
I JUMPED at it!
Taking on a new role at a new location means ... Goodbye 1hr commute! Goodbye Pay for Parking! Goodbye Downtown Halifax gridlock!
Helllllooooooo Dartmouth, your kickass 20 min commute and free parking!
Yes. That started off my day juuuuuuussssst right!
Then, as I continued to skim through my messages, another one jumped out at me ...
"You like Country music ..."
Well yes, yes I do. Anyone who knows me knows that :-)
I opened it to find the BEST surprise of the day!
Brad Paisley, Dierks Bently and Jimmy Wayne were in town, performing at the Metro Centre.
At $80 a seat, I wasn't going.
Until, that is, I read that message ....
It was from a former co-worker, who had seats in a skybox for the show THAT NIGHT, and wanted to know if I was interested in going.
HUH? WHAT? DO I WANT TO GO TO BRAD PAISLEY?!?!??!??!
You're damned right I did!
And WHAT a concert it was!
I invited another friend to go with us. A skybox will hold 12 people, we had the whole thing to ourselves!
Jimmy Wayne was the first to take the stage ...